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whatever

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situationĀ I am to be content.” (Php 4:11, ESV, emphasis mine.)

Whatever…

(sigh…)

Whatever…

Whatever situation.

What…ever…(a reference to any entity, event, or state.)

Whatever = Any?

Any entity…

Any event…

Any state…

(God help me!)

Now I know I should be embarrassed.

(Lord I’m looking into the world, the people, history, my family, and I am speechless. No! I am bound!)

Any = Every?

(Now I am excited!)

C.S Lewis, in The Problem of Pain, writes:

“Now God, who has made us, knows what we are

and that our happiness lies in Him.

Yet we will not seek it in Him

as long as He leaves us any other resort

where it can even plausibly be looked for.

While what we call ‘our own life’ remains agreeable

we will not surrender it to Him.

What then can God do in our interests

but make ‘our own life’ less agreeable to us,

and take away the plausible source of

false happiness?”

I feel Eden coming on!

I sense the imminence of God! It’s…it’s…right now!

Your will, Lord. O Holy God, Perfecter of my soul; of my being; of my life; of my….my….moment.

(O God my chest is tight!)

No second is disposable to You!

You import eternal essence into what I so profanely consider the mundane!

O GOD HELP ME! I AM THE DEAD ONE!

O LORD! The beating, the beating of the moment! The beating of your instruction as you go about the ONLY work no other would be blasphemous god has suggested or claimed or managed to undertake!

You are stuffing it…

You are jamming it…

You are cracking me open…

You are exposing the raw wounds of my death to clean…

…clean

…clean

…life.

” I came

that they

may have

life…”

(Jn 10:10)

In my anxieties I feel the singe…O Pleasing Cure!

In my helplessness I feel my grief..O Blessed Dependency!

In my anger I feel the hell…O Sustained Joy!

O God!

ANY STATE!

ANY EVENT!

EVERY MOMENT!

In every discomfort and trial,

In every comfort and repose,

You are teaching this Death, to die.

It seems nothing can truly kill me now.

Not when every form of death leads me back to a complete dependency of You.

What can man do to me?

What can I do to myself?

(It’s quiet now.)

Whatever is your delight…

Whatever is your will…

Whatever is You…

By your grace lay me down beside the still waters of Your Sovereignty…

of Your Promises…

of Your Faithfulness…

Lay me down too look into the clouds and beyond them to infinite truth,

To look into my identity before you…

and confess with all honesty and truth, delight and resignation…

whatever.